[War] US: Ah, teenagers.

[John Penta]

"Ah, teenagers"
4 January 2014
President John Williams
USA
==================
<Washington>

   The President had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as, unnoticed and
unrecognized (it was amazing what a heavy parka could do), he watched the
Secret Service Uniformed Division checking IDs and tickets of the group
gathered for the White House tour. It had been one of those unheralded
little things John had insisted upon, turning down security at the White
House from "obscenely high" to "firm, thorough, but unobtrusive". Among that
was loosening up on the security restrictions for tours - and, frankly, on
getting the detail away from keeping their protectees (IE, him and his
family) in a bubble. Things were looser.

  But this was, at the end of the day, the White House. Some searches were
par for the course, as was an ID check.

  The security officer posted at the check station today, a Corporal
Jimenez, seemed to have things loose. Security was important to him, it
seemed, but not worth being an ass about.

  Williams appreciated that attitude. Usually.

  However, as two teenagers went through the check, his trained ears
couldn't help but hear their names as Jimenez read their IDs.

  "Lee Harvey Oswald" and "Leon Czolgosz".

  Thus why the President was trying not to laugh.

  Keeping inconspicuous, Williams kept a quiet eye on things as he saw the
tour go by. Then, to surprise everybody, before they reached the exit point,
Williams slipped out of his parka and stood off to the side.

 The two teenagers were there, along with the rest of the tour group, and
Corporal Jimenez. They were maybe 12 or 13, looked like the bookish, quiet
type.

 Also there, beside Williams, was Lieutenant Jorgenson, the watch commander
for the Uniformed Division.

  Quietly, the President stepped to where everybody could notice him. As the
reactions subsided, he smiled.

  "Welcome to the White House, everybody. Hope you enjoyed the tour. Please
be careful in disposing of any trash you might have - Luke likes to go
grabbing at things, for one, and he also likes putting things in his mouth.
So please, help us keep him safe - dispose of your trash properly."

   That got some laughs, and as people left, Williams kept an eagle eye on
the two boys. Before the two of them knew it, as they were quietly
celebrating having outwitted the White House's security, both boys felt a
firm hand on their shoulder - they'd come by without their parents, it
seemed - not common, but not a violation of any rules. As they turned to see
where the grip on their shoulders was coming from, they went pale as
they saw the size of the hand on their shoulder, and even more so when
they looked up and saw the hand's owner. "Mr. Oswald, Mr. Czolgosz. You look
awfully young and fit for two assassins who've been dead for decades,"
POTUS commented dryly.

   As the other tourists watched, amazed, Williams went into soldier mode.

   "Corporal, direct these boys to the Oval!" his voice boomed. "If they
even *think* about trying to escape from custody, you -are- authorized to
use lethal force."

   Now the kids were seriously frightened as the Corporal nodded, saluted,
and led the boys off.

   "Now, are the parents or other associates of those two young gentlemen
present?"

   An angry looking mom stepped forward. "How dare you touch my children
like that, and speak to them like that! What gives you the authority to
manhandle them?" Her face was red.

  "Ma'am...How dare I? How *dare* I?" Williams replied calmly. He -knew-
someone was going to put this all on YouTube, so he may as well defend
himself. "What gives me the authority? Uh, ma'am, you may have forgotten,
but I happen to have sworn an oath to, among other things, 'take care that
the laws be faithfully executed'. In case you don't get what that means: I
have *every* right. Your boys BROKE at -least- 3 laws. And need I remind
you, around here, unauthorized intruders TEND TO GET SHOT AT!" His voice
boomed calmly, full 'command voice' in effect. Now, more than a few of the
tourists looked scared, as his eyes bored into the woman's eye sockets.

   "I do not really care if your 'little angels' are on the honor roll or
have 4.0 GPAs or are absolute paragons of virtue, Ma'am. None of that
matters to me in the least. They *will* respect the law, and you *will*
remember where you are, to whom you are speaking, and how an *adult* acts in
public!"

   At that, there was something surprising to Williams: Applause. From every
member of the tour group.

   Then, looking to the Lieutenant in command of the watch, Williams barked,
"Lieutenant, direct this woman and anyone who may have accompanied her and
her boys to a suitable location. They will wait until I am done speaking
with our young intruders, at which point I *will* be speaking with her and
them. Also, after I am done with all of them, Corporal Jimenez is to report
to me. I want his file on my desk before he does. Clear?"

   "Yes sir!" replied the Lieutenant. The mother was red with anger, fear,
embarrassment, as she went off - apparently there was nobody else - with the
Lieutenant, as another Uniformed Division officer took up the exiting tour
group.

   10 minutes later, the two young intruders were in the Oval Office,
looking quite terrified as they sat in two chairs facing the Resolute Desk.

   At that point, from an inconspicuous door in the side of the room,
Williams entered. The boys surprised the President, by rising as they heard
the door open, and turning towards the Commander-in-Chief.

  "Sit down, boys." Williams instructed quietly; his voice was gentle, his
whole manner paternal.

   They did so, looking at the Leader of the Free World with wide eyes.

  "Now, first. Tell me your real names, tell me where you're from, how old
you are...And what you've learned about the two assassins whose identities
you decided to assume?" Williams asked as he sat behind the desk, hands
making a pyramid.

   They werre really Kevin Brown and Sean Dumfries, from Libertyville,
Illinois. Both 13, they'd learned about their subjects from school, and from
the Internet - they recited a rather large amount of information they'd
found. Then, without prompting, they nervously sputtered out their
plan. They'd decided to pull their little scheme a few weeks ago - they'd
gotten cheap fake DLs from a high school kid, whose sister they'd wanted to
impress. She was 13, in their homeroom, and was a hottie with great boobs.

   That last got a raised eyebrow...And then a smile from the POTUS. "Yeah,
I remember what that was like." Pause. "This really, really, really wasn't
the way to try to impress her. You two both broke a few laws -
impersonation, trespass, use of fake identification. They're federal, and 2
out of 3 are felonies - meaning at least a year in prison.

   "Now, I'm feeling merciful, so I'm going to say...Eh, misdemeanor
trespass. Plead guilty to that, I'll tell the US Attorney to have you
just pay a $200 fine - you, not your parents. In exchange for that, if you
get at least Bs in all of your classes this year and don't wind up on
-anybody's- radar, we'll dismiss the charges and, legally, this will have
never happened."

   The kids looked at him, looked at each other, looked at him...Then it
dawned on them.

   "I'll take that, sir," Sean said.

   "Me too, sir," Kevin added.

   "Okay then." Williams wrote out the deal in 6 copies - 1 each for the
boys, 1 each for their parents, one for the Secret Service and US Attorney,
and one copy for himself - with old-fashioned carbon paper, then dated it,
presenting the sheaf to the boys, along with 2 pens. "If you would sign and
date it?"

    The boys did so, then handed it all back. "Eh, keep the pens." Williams
grinned, then looked at his watch. "Wow, only 5 minutes."

    "Longest of my life!" Sean blurted out, then blushed.

    POTUS chuckled. "Trust me, there -will- be longer. Still, though, 5
minutes looks like we were sloppy. So, stay for a while, talk to me. Want
anything?"

   All they wanted were Cokes, which Williams pulled from the minifridge
behind the desk and tossed to em, along with one for himself.

   "This place is a lot smaller than it looks on TV," Kevin noted, looking
around as he calmed down.

   "Yeah. Every President redecorates it a bit, and I tried to make it feel
bigger when I did, but the dimensions don't change much - it always looks
huge on TV, and it always looks huge in people's imaginations, whether
you're 12 or 36 or 60, but it isn't."

   "What's that?" Sean pointed at a wall. "Who are those people?"

   Williams got solemn then. "A...reminder. I used to be a soldier, I
imagine you've heard...Those are the guys who were under my command that
didn't make it home. It's not hard, at this level, for everything to
get...abstract. It reminds me that, at the end of the day, I'm not dealing
with abstracts when we discuss foreign affairs. Fortunately, none yet since
I became President - nobody's died on operations, anyway."

   Nods from both boys. "No names," Kevin noted.

   "I memorized them, years ago. Names, ages, hometowns, units of
assignment, how and where they died."

   "You still see them, don't you, sir?" Sean asked, quietly. There must
have been something in his voice for the kid to pick up on.

   "In my dreams, yeah. In my dreams, I still hear them talking, laughing,
joking around. Most weren't much older than you - 18, 19."

   "Why they join up?" Kevin asked.

   "All sorts of reasons; Sergeant Wilson, 2nd from the left, 3rd down - he
grew up in the Army, his dad was a tank officer. Private Ostov, 3rd down,
last on the right? Emigrated from Russia when he was a kid, felt it was his
duty to serve. PFC Nance, 4th on the right, seconnd down? No real reason.
Army was going to pay for college."

   The kids nodded as they sipped their cokes, then noticed something else -
a tiny little contraption on the floor. "What is *that*?" Sean asked.

   "Toy for Luke. You didn't see Elmo?" Williams grinned. "I'd let you meet
him, but he's napping at the moment - Thank God."

   Chuckles at that.

   As it talked, it became clear. These kids were, to be understated,
geniuses. Genius kids who'd gotten bored, who were too young for AP
classes...Who were messing around because they got everything so quick.

  Soon enough, POTUS was grabbing his laptop, typing out a recommendation
letter for each boy.

  "I'm changing the deal. I want you to sign up for college courses -
whatever you like, try them out. I'll be talking to Loyola Chicago to see
about letting you both take some there as scholarship students. However,
deal between us is that you pull at least a 3.0 GPA in all courses, *and*
keep your grades up in your normal classes."

  The kids gaped. Then looked at each other and high-fived.

   "How...*why*, Mr. President?" Sean asked, his bright blue eyes blinking
with shock.

   "I'm an alum of Jesuit schools, for one - why you two? Simple. I see
talent, I work at developing that talent. Can't do it for everybody, but
when I find someone who isn't noticed, I have ways of testing and training
them, of polishing diamonds in the rough.

   "There's a catch here, though. I'll accept screwing up, that's part of
learning. But you don't slack off, you don't mess around. Get in trouble
with the authorities, I'll know, and you'll be out. I pick you two because I
see leaders in both of you - you may not recognize that yet, but that's
there. Not merely leaders, but exceptional leaders, in whatever you might
choose to do with yourself. I expect you to conduct yourselves as leaders,
though. Plain and simple. You're still kids, you'll do stupid things - but I
have a very limited tolerance for fools."

   Williams scribbled some modifications onto the agreements they'd signed.

   "Now then. Let's go talk to your parents."

   The parents were just slightly amazed. What, why, how...? That described
their reactions.

   Williams laid it out. One of the problems, as he saw it, was that the
size of the country, of the population, meant that, inevitably, some of the
brightest minds, the best people, would go entirely unnoticed.

   That was life - there was little that could be done to fix it, not if one
wanted to keep American society free, and he wasn't the type to like
large-scale social engineering or Asian-style pressure cookers for kids
(which he personally thought tended to be destructive of talent generally,
even if they did produce the occasional specimen of excellence).

  But when they could be found while still kids, it was the nation's
responsibility to assist the development of those potential key individuals
- not in some elite boarding school, though those had their place, but in
their communities, when it was possible. These would still be kids,
hopefully normal, well-adjusted kids...But kids who would be spotted early
as having talents of note, and trained, quietly, to improve their abilities
and screen them for potential leadership.

   No obligation, no catch beyond what had been explained to the boys. They
wouldn't be expected to serve in government, or the military, or do anything
in particular...But they would be expected to train, to develop their
abilities.

   "So we'll be like Battle Schoolers from Ender's Game?" Kevin asked,
blinking curiously.

   That got a grin. "Not quite. No nullo, no battle room, no space station.
On the other hand, no Buggers, either," Williams replied.

   And that ended that situation - the kids got his email address upon
swearing not to give it out, and would be contacted later regarding their
training.

   Next, though, came the more official side.

   Corporal Jimenez was waiting the Oval Office when the President walked
back in. The Lieutenant was beside him, as was a grumpy-looking Secret
Service Director.

   "At ease," Williams ordered as he walked in. "Corporal, I imagine both
the Lieutenant and Director have been ripping you a new asshole. I have
nothing to add to that. However, I'm going to exercise my prerogative and
determine your punishment personally.

   "You are to be suspended, with pay, for 2 weeks. At the end of that
period, you will report for refresher training in guard duties, and
identification procedures. Also, you will be on probation for 6 months - if
you are evaluated successfully at the end of those 6 months, the matter will
be dropped and will not remain in your file. If not, you'll be dealt with at
the discretion of the Secret Service," Williams stated.

   "Director, Lieutenant...I do not accept your resignations. I will not.
This happens; there will be no falling on swords.

   "However, I want every Uniformed Division officer reviewing their
training on guard duties within the next 30 days."

   Nods.

   "Okay then, you're all dismissed."

   After they left, POTUS's attention turned to other...mishaps. DHS was
causing problems, again.

   A brief memo dealt with that situation: TSA screening procedures were to
be revamped. No more idiotic bans on sippy cups or baby shampoo - TSA was to
focus on bombs, guns, and obvious sharp objects - there's no way anyone is
going to be able to do harm with some of the objects that were banned.

   No resignations would be accepted - however, all Homeland Security
personnel responsible for security checkpoints were to be retrained on
identifying false documents, as well as their supervisors. In addition, DHS
was instructed to work on devising a system of screening behavior, not just
randomly...But a system that would, while preserving security, also pass
court "strict scrutiny" tests and, generally speaking, not torture civil
liberties.

   A headshake from POTUS then, as he signed off on a Health and Human
Services proposal to implement a system for national reciprocity for
emergency services licensure.

  It was days like this that made people cynical about government.
---
Actions:
1. Deal with those kids. Mercifully but firmly.
2. Since they're geniuses, by all appearances, it would seem wise to
encourage their further training. Enlist the assistance of friends and
contacts to enable such.
3. TSA screening procedures to be revamped, cutting down on the bans.
4. DHS to work on devising a system of behavioral screening that would pass
legal muster, not torture civil liberties, and be effective. Yes, it is
possible to do all 3 at once, and we'll prove it.
5. HHS to implement a system of national standards and national reciprocity
for emergency services licensure, such as EMTs and nurses.
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